It’s time for this again!

Mechanics for this is that you put the first sentences of the first posts per month and that will be your year end review.

So here it is:

Jan: To you who taught me how to love.
Feb: I’m so happy, really very, very happy!
March: Has someone swept you off your feet that you cannot help but fall in love with that person?
April: no entry
May: I haven’t been able to blog in such a long time, which is a shame really because there are a lot of things I want to share.
June: I just realized that I am really selosa
July: Para sayo na kaklase ko sa Math class ni Escuadro
August: Just got to watch “Tokyo Drift” in Gateway yesterday.
Sept: Off to Baguio
Oct: What happens when you are armed with a digicam and are really, really bored?
Nov: Had dinner with my friends, at last.
Dec: Went to the 2006 NU Rock Awards last December 1 at the World trade Center

So there is my whole year in review....As usual, I'll still post a proper tribute to all that has happened to me in the year that passed...

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all....

Nagtataka lang.

Is it normal to still feel something pag nabasa mo ang mga dating
sulat sayo ng ex mo?



Kahit na mayroon ka ng bagong minamahal.
Kahit na masaya ka na sa buhay mo ngayon.



Binabasa ko kasi yung mga lumang email namin to each other,
nagulat ako kasi may kirot pa rin sa puso.

Ibig sabihin ba nun hindi pa ko nakakamove on?



Hindi siguro....Hindi na...

A letter from someone who loved...

It’s still raining outside, and fearing about the traffic, I decided to 

write you a letter… perhaps I wanted to for quite some time now, just 

found the right mood and time.

How are you doing? I know I ask this to you almost everyday.  Don’t get 

me wrong, it’s just how I take care of people.  Sorry if it now appears 

routinely for you.  If ever it appears routinely for you, I hope you’ll 

see that it’s more of affection and concern rather than an obligation.  

I made a promise (in case you still don’t know) when I ask you if you 

want me to take care of you.  I took it seriously in my heart, because I 

know I become a better person when I care for someone rather than 

myself.  What you texted to me the previous days about me making you really 

happy enabled me to cling on something I started to disbelieve in.  You 

brought back hope again in me, that certain good deeds don’t go 

unnoticed and unappreciated.  

Perhaps it’s time for you to know what my status for J is (and I 

guess I haven’t told anyone yet about it.)  First question, do I still 

love her? Yes, and I think it will never go.  I loved her with my whole 

heart and for that I’m happy.  If the question would be would I still 

love her, then perhaps yes in the way that I would be here when the time 

comes she needs another best friend or even just a friend.  I never 

abandoned her and I don’t intend to.  But if somebody would ask if I would 

still wish to the heavens for us to be together again just like before, 

I wanted to believe and accept that it would never be… and painfully, 

perhaps it wasn’t meant to be in the first place.  You’re right E, 

we were never meant to be.  

The boyfriend-girlfriend issue is long over.  It’s the lost friendship 

and the seeming cruel attitude she’s giving me right now that hurt so 

much.  Up to now I cry over the one simple question, “What did I do to 

deserve this?” I can’t reconcile the fact that people would say that 

somehow I was a good boyfriend, did everything I can to maintain the 

friendship.  I was there during her tough moments in school and in the 

family.  I understood her whenever she had her mood swings.  I was there and 

understood everything, bore the pain with the hope that at least, the 

friendship was worth fighting and crying for.

But what did I get in the end? Right now, I think I don’t exist in her 

life anymore.  You know what hurts the most? When you are not 

considered as a good friend anymore… when everything you have done were 

forgotten, gone to waste.  Every time I read a bulletin post from her, I hope 

in God that somehow she would include me at least as someone who made 

her happy.  I feel worse than a criminal now… 

Christ said you give love without expecting anything in return.  I 

agree and painfully followed that teaching.  But I never thought in my 

whole life that what you get when you poured out your heart and love you’ll 

be repaid in the end by cruelness, unkindness, unforgiveness, and pain.  

Yes, there was one night I wanted to kill myself, it just didn’t made 

sense…  And yes there are still days that I cry because of it.

How do I move on? My heart would say forgive her.  And yes, I know also 

in my heart I already did.  But the pain won’t go.  Then one night I 

realized.  Remember the dream I just texted you? It was about J 

dating a new guy just now.  It hurts to the core because I thought she left 

me because she doesn’t want a commitment, but with that it would now 

appear that she left me because of me, nothing more, the commitment issue 

was just a way of her getting out.  The guy was a jerk and it pains me 

again to feel that all my sincerity didn’t matter in this world.  It 

would come sooner or later… and I hope I would stand the pain when that 

day comes.

Is this what you get when you risk it all out? When you bet everything 

you had? 

Was it worth it? In tears I would say “yes”.  Better love and lost than 

never loved at all as the old saying goes.  But it is so painful… 

I want to love again.  As silly as it may sound, I still believe in 

love.  Right now, it seems that a miracle is happening.  You are the 

miracle.

You came in a time I never, never, never expected.  You showed 

appreciation and concern and never imagined and dreamt of getting from you.  

You made me feel things I do not understand.  You made me scared and at 

the same time very much happy within.  Perhaps I’m scared of running the 

risk of losing you and you never coming back.  Right now E, 

honestly, I’m trying all my best to take hold of my emotions, of opening a 

space for you to hurt me.  But I know that by opening a space in my 

heart, you would really make a difference in my life.  I want you to make a 

difference in my life.  Sorry if it makes you feel 

uncomfortable, I hope it doesn’t.

For such a short time, you managed to do things differently in my life.  

You brought hope back in me.  I can’t write them all down but I want 

you to know that you make me happy more than you could ever imagine.  And 

yes, there are also nights that I feel a bit mad at you, especially 

when you don’t seem to text back.  Perhaps it’s a sign of you slowly 

entering my heart. 

It was one of the hardest things I did in my life when I wrote a mail 

of reconsideration to M.  I was confused on two things: one that I 

believe that he doesn’t deserve the love you’re giving him and two, the 

fact that it seems now that the only real thing to make you happy is 

for that guy to come back in your arms.  I opted for the second, but I 

know that if it works, I’ll never have that chance.

E, I envy him, so much.  When I look back at the few moments we 

have spent together, I sigh in disbelief.  Why did he leave her? You are 

so great E.  I want to return what you texted me a few days ago.  

You don’t get off that easy, you make me happy.  

I want to spend more time with you, and I pray that I could 

continuously make you feel happy and special.  Someday, I pray to God that I would 

be given the chance to love you, much more that how I loved J.  Sa 

kailailaliman ng puso ko, hangad kong mahalin kita bukas.  But for now, 

I hold on to the happiness our friendship gives.  No regrets here 

E, nor grand expectations.  Just simply how I feel.

When the time comes he doesn’t comes back for you, just look for me.

You always take care E, be safe, and never take things for 

granted.

DO YOU REMEMBER THIS?

Found this in my inbox while I was cleaning my archives. I'm sorry it didn't work out.

WILL YOU EVER?



I don't think you will

ever fully understand

how you've touched my life

and made me who I am.



I don't think you could ever know

just how truly special you are

that even on the darkest nights

you are my brightest star.



I don't think you will ever fully comprehend

how you've made my dreams come true

or how you've opened my heart

to love and the wonders it can do.



You've allowed me to experience

something very hard to find

unconditional love that exists

in my body, soul, and mind.



I don't think you could ever feel

all the love I have to give

and I'm sure you'll never realize

you've been my will to live.



You are an amazing person

and without you I don't know where id be.

Having you in my life

completes and fulfills every part of me.

*Jul 03, 2004

powered by performancing firefox

2006 NU ROCK AWARDS

Went to the 2006 NU Rock Awards last December 1 at the World Trade Center. Here are some pictures from the event.
Miles and I arrived just before the show started and a crowd had already gathered.
Itchyworms opened the show with a fantastic number, they sang "Akin ka na Lang"



A lot of celebrities attended the event. Asia Agcaoili and Joyce Jimenez were a few. (wanted to post more pix of the celebrities but the other pictures I have are hi-res pix that takes too long to upload)


That's Ron grabbing the opportunity to have his pic taken with Joyce Jimenez
After several hours of standing, we just wanted to sit down.


The event ended at around 12am. I had such a blast, thanks to my beloved brand!

VIOLENCE!!!!

Grrrr.....I need a stress reliever. I want to shout at someone. First off, my SO argued with me about something so trivial that ended up in a big fight. And now my BOSS wants a project status report tonight! Has he not heard of office hours? You know, 9-6pm! What if I had made plans tonight?! What if I had to go to a very important dinner? I won't be able to go because of his stupid PSR!!!!!!!!! Honestly, I like my boss as a friend but as a boss, not so much.



Grrr.....Can I just beat the shit out of someone?! Anyone!

Christmas = Family

Magpapasko na naman. Sana bata pa ako para ramdam na ramdam ko ang pasko. Ganun naman yata talaga, ang pasko para talaga sa bata. Nung bata ako palagi akong may regalo galling kay Santa and hindi ka maniniwala na grade six na ko naniniwala pa rin ako kay Santa.

Ang galing ng parents ko eh. Natatandaan ko pa nung pasko ng 1991 wala akong regalo galing kay Santa, pero may aguinaldo naman na iniwan sa stockings namin ng kuya ko sa may pinto, at ang galing galing kasi may kasama pang sulat dun sa stockings. Nageexplain si Santa na kaya daw hindi nya kami nabigyan ng toys kasi binigay na niya lahat sa mga naapektuhan nung pagsabog ng Pinatubo. E kilala ko sulat ng Mom ko, sulat niya yun e, montik na silang mabuko kasi tinanong ko siya kung bakit sulat niya yung letter ni Santa, sabi sakin ng Mom ko, ginising daw siya ni Santa and pinasulat sa kanya yun dahil hindi pwedeng si Santa ang magsulat para hindi makita sulat niya para hindi madiscover kung sino siya. Naniwala naman ako. Nung medyo lumaki na lang ako saka ko narealize na ang galing magpalusot ng mom ko. Nakakatawa talaga sila.

May one time pa, usong uso yung mga dolls na lahat yata kaya ng gawin yung mga talking, eating, sleeping, walking doll. Yun yung hiningi ko kay Santa. Kaya nung pasko na excited na excited ako pagbaba ko sa may xmas tree namin, kita ko agad yung malaking box, alam ko na yun nay un. Kaya lang pagbukas ko malaking doll lang pala na pumipikit at dumidilat yung bigay ni Santa, sabi ko isosoli ko, mali yung bigay ni Santa, sabi ng Mom ko tama na yan kasi hindi ka ganun kabait this year kaya hindi niya binigay lahat ng gusto mo. Nakakatawa talaga, so tinangap ko na lang at minahal ko yung manika na yun. Pag tiningnan mo yung pictures ko ng buong taon na yun, palagi kong katabi si Matet (Matet yung pinangalan ko sa doll kasi sikat si Matet nun). Sa mga nakakakilala sakin at nakapunta na sa bahay namin, sigurado nakita nyo na si Matet kasi hangang ngayon nandun pa rin siya sa bahay, nakaupo sa sofa sa basement namin. Marami na ring tao ang natakot dun kasi nga malaki, akala nila multo o totoong bata na nakaupo sa sofa sa basement.

Ang saya saya talaga ng pasko nung bata ako. Tuwing December 30 pa pumupunta kaming Star City o Boom na Boom (wala pang Enchanted Kingdom nun) sobrang saya. Kulitan kami ng kulitan ng kuya.

Ang saya saya ng pasko ko dahil sa lahat ng ginawa ng magulang ko. Ang galing nila e. Sabi ko nga pag nagkaanak ako gagawin ko din yung ginawa ng parents ko para maenjoy nila talaga yung pasko. Ang dami dami kong ipagpapasalamat sa kanila.

At siympre pag malapit na ang pasko ibig sabihin malapit na rin ang birthday nila. Ngayong taon 60 years old na ang mommy ko. Bibilan ko siya ng cake at bulaklak pasasalamat ko sa lahat ng taon na binigay niya sa kin. Sa lahat ng taon na inalagaan niya ko. Alam ko kulang ang cake at bulaklak pero magiipon ako at pag nakaipon na ko ililibre ko sila ng Daddy ko, kahit saan nila gusto pumunta. Sana sana sana wag silang mawawala. Natatakot kasi ako, dumadami na yung mga sakit nila, hindi naman ako nagiisip ng kung anu ano pero natatakot lang ako na baka hindi ko magawa yung mga balak kong gawin. Basta Mahal na Mahal ko sila, kahit mataray ako, kahit hindi ko sila pinapansin minsan, mahal ko pa rin sila and wala na siguro kong makikita na the best na magulang. Yung tamang tama lang, tama lang yung paghihigpit na ginawa nila sakin at tama lang din yung kalayaan na binibigay nila sakin. Alam ko masyadong cliché pero tama nga sila na lahat ng ginagawa ng magulang mo para lang din sa kabutihan mo. Hindi ko man nakikita yun dati, ngayon alam ko na. Kaya salamat talaga sa kanila!

Happy Birthday Mommy (Dec. 12)

Happy Birthday Daddy (December 20)

I Want to Be a Rock Star

Went to several recording sessions for the Muziklaban grand finalists last October. I never realized how long it takes to record just ONE song. It takes them a whole day just to finish a song because they need to record per instrument. Astig!

HBE listening to their song

Me, James and Ron pretending to be Rockstars Still having fun




But after several hours, I am so bored to death. Can't wait for it to be finished.

----------------------

On a side note, Octoberfest is over. Had loads of fun...

Till next year....

Seeing Friends

Had dinner with my friends last night, at last. It was such a blast. Don't know what I will do without such great friends.

I Miss My Friends!!!!!

I miss Melissa. I miss being frustrated with her always not being allowed to go out. I miss going to her house and pestering her to come with us to Baliuag. I miss the talks we have, and although we have different interests, I still miss sharing my latest addictions with her. I miss surprising her with balloons and cakes during her birthday which has become a tradition between us. I miss Melissa.

I miss Portia. I miss all the chismisan sessions that we have talking about who has gotten pregnant or who has hooked up in our batch. I miss talking to her about things that are too sensitive to talk about. I miss shopping with her and looking for bargains. I miss our overnight tambays and our cooking sessions. I miss my kakuntsaba who will save my ass when my parents call to look for me and I am out on a date. I miss Portia

I miss Tin. I miss our hour long tambays in McDo just talking about anything under the sun. I miss people watching with her. I miss our driving lessons together. I don't remember the exact moment that we became friends, but what I remember is all the times that she was there when I needed someone. She was my constant companion in high school, my partner in crime whenever we would cut classes, cheat on exams. I miss Tin.

I miss Eufra. I miss talking to her about my boy problems and seeing her expression as if she wants to bang my head against a wall if I ever mention Earl again. I miss singing with her. I miss how she can be so sensible when I do not make sense. I miss how she always defends me to anyone who has the guts to say something negative about me. I miss how honest she is and how much she loves her friends. I miss Eufra.

I miss Jaja. I miss hanging out at her dorm. I miss it when she asks me for ‘buhat’. I miss her calling me astral twin. I miss how she always holds on to my arm whenever we are walking. I miss her little boy, little girl stories. I miss her notes that she leaves at the back of my notebooks. I miss how worried I get whenever she would convince me to let her drive, even if it was just inside Ateneo. I miss Jaja.

I miss Julie. I miss riding in her car. I miss teasing her about her crushes and about how her middle initial (A) means cognitive. I miss seeing her eat. I was never hungry whenever I was with Julie because we were always eating. I miss how mushy she gets whenever we watch a love story or whenever she gets kilig. I miss singing in the car with her. I miss Julie

I miss Millette. I miss hearing her sing. I always loved hearing her sing. I miss it whenever she would impersonate someone. I miss her beautiful smile. I miss her oreo cheesecake. I miss Millete.

I miss Rean. I miss organizing outings and worrying with him. I miss how responsible he is. I miss our talks in the Colayca bench and how he made us (Millette, Ja, Julie and me) cry. I miss hearing him philosopize. I miss how he talks about love. I miss Rean.

I miss Jay. I miss teasing each other every morning. I miss asking him to play his guitar whenever I catch him. I miss grilling him about his girl prospects. I miss Jay.

I miss Ego. Although it pisses me off that he is always late, In a weird way, I miss it. I miss shouting to him “Ego, kanta tayo!” I miss consoling him. I miss him teaching me about all those techie stuff that I can not understand. I miss our SWAP gimiks. I miss our inumans. I miss our road trips and our food trips. I miss Ego.

I miss Anne. I miss hugging her. I miss her scolding me when I am being irrational. I miss her crying with me when my world was crashing. I miss her being always there to support me. I miss bringing her home. I miss sleepovers in her house. I miss how she waits for me until my class was finished so we could go out to dinner. I miss Anne.

I miss Marvin. I miss our talks in the car where I would always shock him with my questions. I miss the flowers for no reason at all. I miss hearing him laugh. I miss teasing him about everything. I miss our long walks. I miss how naïve he is. I miss how special he always made me feel. I miss Marvin.

I miss Gelo. I miss how he can be so sensible and crazy at the same time. I miss how kenkoy he is ( teka lang, manong, teka lang). I miss his funny stories. I miss Gelo.

I miss my friends! I might not have a lot but at least I know that they are true ones.

Sapul!

Dreaming With A Broken Heart
Artist: John Mayer
Album: Continuum


When you're dreaming with a broken heart
The waking up is the hardest part
You roll outta bed and down on your knees
And for the moment you can hardly breathe
Wondering was she really here?
Is she standing in my room?
No she's not, 'cause she's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone....

When you're dreaming with a broken heart
The giving up is the hardest part
She takes you in with your crying eyes
Then all at once you have to say goodbye
Wondering could you stay my love?
Will you wake up by my side?
No she can't, 'cause she's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone....

Oooooooooohhhhhhhhh

Now do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hand
Do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hand?
Do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hand?
Do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hand?
Would you get them if i did?
No you won't, 'cause you're gone, gone, gone, gone, gone....

When you're dreaming with a broken heart
The waking up is the hardest part

My Nieces are home

Saw my nieces yesterday as we visited them in their house. They were so cute and kulit. Pity I forgot to bring my camera so I wasn't able to really take nice shots of them. Only took pics from my phone.


Dani is soo cute, she told me she didn't want to smile coz she was so hungry and she wants a yummy banana but when I was taking the picture she still smiled. =) Artista. =)


Kaitlin didn't want to share her barbie doll.


Kaitlin didn't know who was taking her picture.

She didn't smile as much.

Dani was the friendlier one.

Hope I can spend more time with them before they go back to the states...

Petix

What happens when you are armed with a digicam and are really really bored?



You play with the stuff in the office


You gather your girlfriends with bangs and have a photo op


Best of all, you can pretend you are boss. (Right, Miles?)

Happy happy happy!

What can happen in the span of two years?

A lot. A whole lot.

You can build a lot of memories.

You can be the happiest person in the world

You can be the most miserable person in the world.

You can be very happy with how your career is going.

You can feel crappy about your job.

You can fall in love and stay in love.

Two years ago I did not have any plans. My then boyfriend left me to live in the states. I did not have a job. I was a bum. Can you imagine how hard it is to nurse a broken heart and be a bum? You do not have anything else to do, nothing to keep you occupied so you end up thinking and thinking and thinking about your failed relationship. It’s really hard. I have my friends but they were all busy that time, already working. So I really didn’t have anything to do. I got over that relationship by finding a new one. I know, I know it’s wrong. You have to move on by yourself. But I was just not that strong. Yes, I needed a man.

I needed a man and I got one, a brand new man in my life. And I did not love him then, he was just a man who would help me get through my boy-problems. I thought it would pass. At that time I never thought that we would stay together. But we did. And I love him now, and it doesn’t matter to me that I didn’t love him when we started, what matters is that when I told him I love him, I meant it. And everything just fell into place. I guess it’s true what they say, ‘when it rains, it pours’.

And now I have all kinds of plans. Good plans. He’s got me making plans!!!! =) And I’ve got him making plans too…. Haha, WE ARE MAKING PLANS!!!! =)

And I’m so happy, happy happy. No one is allowed to burst my bubble just yet!

Repost from friendster

I think it is just apt to write you another testimonial now since this is where everything started. And if not for friendster, the last two years would not have been as wonderful.

I can still remember the first time you sent me a message and the first time we talked again. I know it sounds so cliche but I knew then that I wasn't letting you go. =)

Thanks so much for always knowing how to make me smile. Thanks for knowing when to leave me alone. Thanks for understanding my work and trusting me always. Thanks for all our Saturdays. Thanks for putting up with my moods. Thanks for indulging my whims.

I just love how you spoil me. I just love how you love me.

I should stop now because this is getting too mushy.

Happy two years to us!

Muziklaban 2006

We did it. After all those tiring and stressful days of preparing, after all those monitoring and being away every weekend for the eliminations and semi-finals, It's finally over. And although my shoes were immersed in mud and it seemed the rain wouldn't stop, the event was still successful. Everyone stayed even if they were getting really wet. Overall, it was a really great experience.

From the 2,000 bands who joined, only one band emerged as the best.


HardBoiledEggz hails from Baguio and they really do sound good.

Was supposed to get pictures of the bands performing and the crowd but I wasn't able to when it started to rain. Anyway, here are some pictures I managed to take before it rained.



Nobody will be courageous enough to start a brawl with all these policemen there.






The Crowd


With Ariel and Maverick. Nice bling Maverick!

Overall, Muziklaban 2006 was an amazing experience. And I am proud to be part of the team that made this happen.

Rock on!!!

Off to Baguio!!!! And one week left before the big one!

Went to Baguio with the brand team and our ad agency to monitor the Muziklaban semis. It was fun getting lost in Baguio, looking for a bulaluhan at 3:00 in the morning and not finding one, ending up in Andok's lechon manok, food tripping and beer binging....


At the event itself


(Almost) Drunk guys after the event


The day after... =)


The superhero pose


The Team! =)

It's the finals night this saturday. It will be really big. Pray with me that it doesn't rain and that everything goes well. Can't wait!!!! Let's all go to the Muziklaban Grand Finals on September 9 at the CCP open grounds, gates open at 3pm.

My Nieces are going home! =) They've grown up so fast! My last post about them was 2 years ago and they were just babies then. Now look how they've grown!


Kaitlin and Danielle

StarStruck

Attended the launching of IMAX at the SM Mall of Asia. Our company endorsers also attended the launch. And of course, I couldn't resist having my picture taken with them. hehe.


With Derek Ramsey


With Papa Piolo

I also saw Donita Rose in our office to attend a meeting so I had our picture taken. =)



I am so showbiz! =)

Next time will post pix with Pinoy Rock Bands. =)

I have always been a bitter, cynical person. I never liked how my life turned out. I always regretted my decisions in life. I always want drama in my life. It comes to the point that I instead of trying to solve my problems, I make it worse. I like being sad. I’m weird that way. But I like being sad because I write better when I am sad. I get an excuse to write about something. But lately, I have nothing. Before, I would update my blog every week, sometimes almost everyday because I had a lot of things to write about. But now, I write less often. Because my life isn’t as exciting as it was before. Or is it?

Anyway, I have been wanting to post a picture of our Galera trip for a while now. And finally I can do it.



Went to Galera with my College friends. We went the week after a typhoon hit Puerto Galera but we still went anyway. Although it was a short vacation I made a lot of memories: walking at the beach under the moonlight with people I really missed, Lying on the beach and reminiscing about a part of my life I would readily go back to, drinking with my friends, exchanging jokes, climbing a mountain (well, technically it isn't a mountain) and feeling like you were a kid once again without any responsibilities and commitments in life.

July adventures:

1. Got to watch "Tokyo Drift" in Gateway. Was supposed to buy pants for Mac but nothing fit. So we decided to just buy in Megamall when we have time. (As of this time, we still haven't bought pants) Oh, and it was such an adventure going to gateway because we decided not to bring a car since it was just one ride away from our place, but since we are very lucky people, it just had to rain really hard while we were walking to the mall. Only reason we watched in Gateway was because Superman was already flying in most of the cinemas that we frequently visit. Anyway, Tokyo Drift was actually a nice movie. I didn't wanna watch it at first because I don't really have that much interest in cars, but the movie was actually good.

2. Pirates of the Carribean 2 we watched in Eastwood. We saw Angelica Panganiban and Carlo Aquino watching the same movie. Mac and I discovered the best seat in Eastwood cinemas. And I will forever label that as our seat. Ok, Pirates of the Carribean sucked! There were funny moments, sure, but the whole story just did not meet my expectations.

3. Went on a Route Ride to Batangas. Nothing interesting here, just the usual route ride. =)

4. The Muziklaban eliminations also started in July and I monitored the event in Pampanga and La Union ( scheduled to go to Cagayan De Oro and Laguna this weekend). There are actually a lot of fresh good rock bands out there. Although there were some who sounded like "The Dawn". I'm not saying that The Dawn is not good because they are, it's just they sounded old. =) One of the bands in Pampanga did a rock version of "Anak" while one in La Union did a version of Britney Spear's "Toxic". Amazing how they were able to pull that of.

5. Lastly, just this weekend, we watched "Sukob". It was really really scary! I think this was the first Filipino horror movie that really scared the shit out of me. Mac was laughing at me because of how scared I was. I know he will never let me forget that.

Basically, that's my whole month. I'm off to a pre - prod meeting in a while for my event starting this Friday already. My agency is just a little late... Anyway, I have a lot of great stuff to look forward to this coming months.... Hope everything goes great!!!!

I can't post pictures... the picture toolbar does not appear when I edit. And I cannot access my photobucket account!

Bad trip...Can someone help me please?

Para sayo na kaklase ko sa math class ni Escuadro...
Na una akong kagrupo sa area...
Na sinabihan kong crush ko isang valentine's day...
Na sumasabay sa akin papunta sa mga klase ko...

Para sayo to...

" The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connected. Maybe they always have been and will be. Maybe we've lived a thousand lives before this one and in each of them we've found each other. And maybe each time, we've been forced apart for the same reasons. That means that this goodbye is both a goodbye for the past ten thousand years and a prelude to what will come.
When I look at you, I see your beauty and grace and know they have grown stronger with every life you have lived. And I know I have spent every life before this one searching for you. Not someone like you, but you, for your soul and mine must always come together. And then, for a reason neither of us understands, we've been forced to say goodbye.
I would love to tell you that everything will work out for us, and I promise to do all I can to make sure it does. But if we never meet again and this is truly goodbye, I know we will see each other again in another life. We will find each other again, and maybe the star will have changed, and we will not only love each other in that time, but for all the times we've had before."

- From The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks

Friends: I just realized that I am really selosa! I am selosa when it comes to my friends. I met a best friend’s boyfriend last night and although he was nice, I was still not comfortable being with him. Or maybe it’s just because it’s the first time we met. Still, I felt like I was competing for my best friend’s attention. I can’t help but think that we won’t be able to hang out as often, she’ll be really busy with the boyfriend, she would always prefer the boyfriend to me. Basta, I don’t like meeting friend’s boyfriends or girlfriends. But of course I will still try and be nice to them, as long as they don’t hurt my friends.

Work: Work is still work but we try to make it fun. I love my boss because he is so nice and helpful and although he gets mad sometimes, he makes sure that I learn something from it. And I’m not saying that just because he’s my boss, I really do admire him.

Family: Nothing new here. Same old stuff.

Love: Love is great. Enough said…

I hate the awkward silences.

I hate that you're building a wall between us.

I hate that you cannot talk to me about this.

I hate what's happening...

You're confused, i know.
I am complicating things, i know.
I know, i know that what you are saying makes sense.
The problem is i love you, as i am sure you know.
It's just that i don't want to regret the decisions i will be making in my life. As i am sure you regret the decisions you have made in the past.
This is what i hate about you, that you would rather avoid and escape the situation rather than facing it head on.
I will not face this on my own.
I cannot will myself to not think about it.

I haven't been able to blog for such a long time, which is a shame really because there are a lot of things I want to share.

I've really been busy with all the travel I have been doing and all the work I had to do but it doesn't matter because I'm having so much.

I'll post pictures of my travels and edventures next entry...

For now, I just wanna inform everyone that I am still alive. =)

And this bolg is still active!

Has someone ever swept you off your feet that you cannot help but fall in love with that person?

My friend told me he met an angel. Of all the places he could have met an angel, he met her in a bar. He was not the type to just go up to a girl that he doesn’t know at all but he gave in to a dare. He met the girl. They started going out and for a while everything was happy.

The girl is sick and every night when the pain comes she calls my friend for comfort. And that made my friend feel special. He was falling in love. They went to a movie together and he had coughs that day. He was worried about her because the pain usually comes at night. When she excused herself to go to the bathroom, he was so worried because she might be having trouble. She came back after 10 minutes carrying with her cough medicine and water. He couldn’t believe what she did. Nobody has ever been like that to her. And that’s when he knew that this was something deep. That’s when he knew that he was already swept off his feet.

It was all going right until the girl decided to get back together with her cheating ex. He couldn’t understand her. How could she make such a decision? He said some things that hurt her. He couldn’t help himself. He wanted the girl to know how he felt about what she did. What’s worse is that even after the girl has already gotten back with her ex, she still texts my friend when she is in pain. And he doesn’t have the heart to turn her away. He’s just like that.

He found out recently that she already has Cancer. There was not much time left for her. This made him more furious. Mad at the girl for wasting the short time she had left with a cheating ex and mad at himself because he cannot do anything to change her mind. Mad because he can’t stop worrying about her. Mad because he cannot understand God’s purpose for bringing the angel to her life only to take her away again.


My take on this is that I understand the girl. Maybe she is considering the short time she has left and this is why she chose to spend it with her ex. We can never understand love and maybe she just really loves her ex. That’s the mystery of loving, you can accept everything, and you will bear all the hurt as long as you are together with the person you love.

My friend told me that I do not understand. I will not be able to understand because I have never been swept off my feet. I was hurt at that remark. Because he is wrong. I have been swept off my feet. I have loved unconditionally. And I still am loving unconditionally.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not stoic. I want to tell him that I know how to love. And I love with all my being. I am loving with all my being!

I'm so happy... really, very very happy. =)

I am finally going to be able to do the work that I love to do! I am finally going to be a brand person!!!!

yey!!!! And what's more fun is that I was assigned to the brand that I really patronize. It's even the brand that Mac identifies with....

I bet he also very happy that I get to handle this brand!

I cannot fully express my happiness...

Although I know that there will be a lot of work to be done and I probably will end up bitching about all the stuff I have to do... Still, I would like what I am doing....

I'm not making sense.... Basta, I am really happy!!! =)

Hainakuh, i am bored. napuntahan ko na yata lahat ng blogs ng mga kilala ko. kahit blog ng friend ng friend ko nabasa ko na yata. ayoko pa kasi matulog kasi may hinihintay ako. Anyway, habang nagbabasa ko ng mga blog ng ibang tao, kinikilig ako. Kinikilig ako sa mga relaitonships nila, para ang tibay (kahit yung iba sobrand bata pa) and hindi lang basta basta fling coz some of them have already passed the one year mark. And there was this one blog na shared blog nila nung guy niya. they've been together more than one year na and they are still so sweet with each other. Sobra, kinukwento nila yung mga away nila and yung mga lambingan nila...and kinikilig talaga ko. haha...

Made me think about my relationship tuloy...It's not what you might call perfect or totally happy all the time...On the contrary, madalas ang away, ang tampuhan pero madalang ang lambingan when it comes to making up. ewan ko ba kung bakit pero may hinahanap pako. Ang bilis kong mairita sa kanya lately kasi nagiging masyado na siyang comfortable with me (not that it's a bad thing). Kaya lang kasi kung anu ano sinasabi niya sakin minsan nasasaktan talaga ko kahit hindi ko na lang pinapansin. Hay, ewan ko ba kung bakit ganito ang pakiramdam.

Pero don't get me wrong kasi okay naman kami...Kung iisipin wala naman talagang problema...Hay, ewan ko ba kung bakit hindi ako makuntento.... Gusto ko lang siguro sanang kiligin ulit... Sabi ko nga dun sa isang friend ko dati yung kilig yung favorite part ko ng relationship. yung tipong you can't stop smiling...hainakuh, ewan ko. basta, i'm not making sense...

Don't worry...kahit na nagrereklamo ako, mahal naman kita eh. So we both should keep on smiling...parang ganito:

New song for the moment:

O U T O F R OA D S
(Song of the Prodigal Son)
Music by Arnel dC. Aquino, ../Lyrics by Johnny
C. Go, ../Arrangement by Mel Villena/Featuring
Calvin Millado
I just ran out of roads again. Don’t know
where to turn. I started counting stars again,
then I lost my way. I just ran out of time again.
Will I ever learn to stop my chase of hours
again, only learn I’ve lost the day?
REFRAIN 1: The last thing I need is to hear this
whisper in the wind. The last thing I want is
this voice that rises from within. I’ll need to go
home soon, I know. But maybe tomorrow, not
now, when the last thing I need here and now
is this lasting need for You.
I’ve been rushing out of rooms again. Too
afraid to stay. I’ve been dreaming of some
rainbow’s end, but the colors melt away.
Should my heart be like an open door, helpless
to the storm? Permit your wind to touch my
soul, only to leave this aching song?
REFRAIN 2: The one thing I need is to hear Your
whisper in the wind. The one thing I want is
Your voice to go home soon to You. Won’t wait
for tomorrow, right now, for the one thing I
need here and now is this lasting need for You.

To you who taught me how to love….

I never thought that after all of this time I would still be in love with you. Everything happened so fast between us. I guess we probably felt pressured. Pressured and afraid that soon things would be changing and we feared that when the environment changes, we would also change. But one thing is for certain, I know that the feelings I felt for you never changed… after all that has happened, after all this time. And I know, I can feel that you feel the same way.

It would have been perfect if we could just begin again. Wipe the slate clean and forget everything that you have done, everything that I have done. I wish it was that simple. But I guess, relationships can never be simple. But then again, is it too late? No, I don’t think it is too late for us. I guess I am just afraid to take the risk again.

Pagtataya

Parang nasabi ko na yata dati na takot akong magtaya. Takot akong magtaya kasi natatakot akong masaktan. Kung tatanungin siguro ako ngayon kung takot pa rin akong magtaya, oo pa rin ang isasagot ko. Hindi naman mawawala ang pangamba ko na baka kapag nagtaya ako masaktan ako. Takot ako pero gagawin ko pa rin. Takot ako pero magtataya pa rin ako. Dahil para sa akin ang lahat ng desisyon na gagawin ng isang tao ay may kasamang pagtataya. Ang tao na hindi nagtataya, hindi gumagawa ng decision. Isang simpleng halimbawa, nakakita ka ng bagong putahe ng pagkain sa Jollibee, bibilin mo ito kahit hindi mo pa natitikman, kahit hindi mo alam kung masarap o hindi. Magtataya ka na bilhin yun kahit walang kasiguraduhan kung magugustuhan mo ba iyon, magtataya ka para lang matikman yun. At kung nalaman mo na hindi pala masarap, nalugi ka desisyon mo na bilhin yun pero ayos lang sa yo kasi may natutunan ka naman. Dahil doon nalaman mo na hindi pala masarap yun at hindi mo na bibilin yun ulit. Pareho din sa pagpili ng iibigin. Ang tao na umiibig palaging nagtataya. Itataya mo ang puso mo kahit walang kasiguraduhan kung kayo na nga ba habang buhay.

Mahigit isang taon pa lang ang lumilipas ng huli akong nagtaya. Matagal akong nagisip kung handa ba akong magtaya. Na kung sakali man, handa akong masaktan uli. Nakakatakot. Pero wala namang mangyayari sa akin kung hindi ako matututong magtaya. Kaya nagtapang tapangan na lang ako at nagtaya. Sabi ko sa sarili ko noon, kapag nasaktan na ako, ayoko na. Pero sa nakaraang taon paulit ulit akong nasaktan. Isang baldeng luha na nga yata ang iniyak ko. Pero bakit naninindigan pa rin ako sa desisyon na ginawa ko noon hanggang ngayon? Dahil naniniwala ako na habang lalo kang nasasaktan, lalo kang tumatapang. At bawat unos na daanan mo ay lalong magpapatibay sa yo. Sulit ba ang ginawang kong pagtaya kahit na ang daming panahon na nasaktan ako? Sulit na suilt pa rin. Hinding hindi ko pagsisisihan dahil kahit na may mga pagkakataong nasasaktan ako, mas marami namang mga panahon na hindi mo matutumbasan ang kaligayahan na naranasan ko. At hindi rin matutumbusan ang sarap ng alam mo na may umiibig sayo ng higit pa sa sarili niya.

Kahit ano pang sabihin nila, Sulit ang pagtataya!