Saturday, March 13, 2004

hay, just got home from senior's night. It was fun and i really appreciate all the trouble the undergrads did for the program. It was beautiful. Pinaghirapan talaga pero somehow i went home dissapointed. I was not dissapointed na hindi maganda yung senior's night. Ok siya, sobrang astig. I am dissapointed with myself. I didn't feel anything. minsan naiisip ko na stoic talaga ko masyado. I wanted to cry but i can't. KOnting luha lang. I wonder why i wasn't able to cry, being the crybaby that i am. Hindi pa talaga siguro nagsink in. Iniisip ko kasi magkikita pa kami, sa blue roast, sa outing, sa grad...
Only three people made me cry, when i was hugging Millette, when i was reading Ego's letter, and while i was saying goodbye to Jeff. It was a very beautiful moment, looking at the lights in MArikina and all the stars shining down on us.
I didn't really want to go home. I didn't want the night to end. I wanted to stay. I wanted to tell the people that i love them in person. I guess i just wanted to be assured that i won't be forgotten. That 10 years from now, i could go back to the Ateneo and still see the old bus. pass by colayco and see the ACIL rum where i spent almost half of my college life in. If i was not in class, i was in the ACIL room.
I'm specially thankful for kate who did my tribute box. She was amazing. She got me letters from my old roommate Patty, even from Allen. There was one message that intrigued me...i wonder who it's from.
Anyway, although i had a blast i still wish i wouldn't have to leave ACIL behind. If only i could stop the time...

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