Thursday, March 18, 2004

Discernment. Discernment. Discernment.

For the past three days I’ve been trying to discern what I will do with my life. Name your crossroads and then choose the path that you think God wants you to choose. I stayed still and quiet hoping that I will hear God’s voice but the only thing I heard was the wind blowing through the pine trees and the birds chirping above me. I guess I just expected too much from the retreat, I expected to immediately have answers to my questions. I guess I expected too much so I feel so dissatisfied right now. I keep blaming it to other people, that the other retreatants were not strict with the silence. The retreat was too fast-paced for me…
I can complain all I want but in the end I am still stuck with my problem. I haven’t reached any decision yet. I do not know which path I should choose. The retreat director said that I should live life to the fullest. Carpe diem. I really am trying to seize the day and I understand that discernment is a process and I should not expect to have an answer right away but I just hope that whatever decision I will end up making will be the right one. I have been making wrong decisions all my life but now the decision I have to make would determine what I would become for the rest of my life. I hope I make the decision that would make the people that I love proud of me. For now, I will look at the past and the now and examine everything so I could see my options more clearly.

Seize the day and enjoy your life in the process….

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