· The rain is falling outside. It breaks the silence in my room.

· A broken silence…a broken heart…

· Writing has always been my way of letting go. I wrote when I finally accepted that I will not end up with my first love, I wrote when my pet dog accidentally died, I wrote when I left college…. I guess there is finality in writing, that’s why writing is my way of saying goodbye.

· Now I am writing again. I am writing because I feel that something inside of me is dying.

· But what really is dying? I have never actually seen someone die. I have watched a lot of movies and read a lot of books about dying, yet I still do not fully understand death.

· Are you dying when you cannot breathe anymore? If it is then I am dying because I am finding it hard to breath because I have been crying for a while now.

· Are you dying when your vision has already blurred and you cannot see anything? If it is then I am dying because I cannot see anything through my tears.

· Are you dying when you cannot feel pain anymore? If it is then I am dying because although I am still crying, I am already numb to feel anything.

· When one dies, is there no tomorrow?

· I am dying…Will I have no tomorrow?

· I know someone who can save me from dying…I am reaching out but I cannot reach… If the person will only reach out then maybe…maybe I can still be saved.

I am bored….I am so bored….

I am going to start working again in a week or so. Turns out I made the right decision because I am soon going to be financially stable again (this time for good). I don’t know if I am more excited or anxious. Excited because I am really bored here at home, and anxious because I might mess up and my superiors might decide that they made the wrong decision in taking me in.

Anyway, I want to maximize my remaining vacation time so I have been going to the beach the past weeks. But now I am already broke and I can’t go vacationing to far places anymore. I’m staying home now because I am budgeting my money so it can last me till I get my next salary again. But staying home is making me so bored that I end up bothering Mac and we would end up having our frequent nasty fights. I don’t know what to do about it anymore. I don’t even make a big deal out of it anymore, when we fight I just wait for him to call me and when he does we would not resolve our fights but rather just talk as if we the fight didn’t happen. I don’t even want to think about our compatibility and our future anymore…I am just glad to get through each day unscathed….


sun and fun in Puerto Galera


At Puerto Azul with the ACILberks...What are we looking at?!