Leighnie's blog

And finally you are writing it down because you want to prove to yourself that you have moved on. You believe that by writing everything down you will be free from the guilt and you will be able to finally convince yourself, your friends, and your family, that you are ready to love another person again. You admit that for the past years you have been longing for him to come back to you, to tell you how sorry he is that he left. You admit that on certain nights you still dream of him and what could have been. But you insist that it is over. And you go on with your life as if he never happened. You ignore the times that you remember him and you say to yourself that you really do not miss him; you just miss the moments and the feeling of happiness and love. But you do not miss the person. You are so successful in convincing yourself that you have moved on that you start entertaining suitors. You agree to go out on dates and you realize that you are starting to enjoy the dates and the gimiks. Months pass and you are back to your old, bubbly self again. You are happy and contented. You even think that you have fallen in love with an old buddy of yours. Everything is going fine for you and you are so proud of yourself. Until…
You saw him again. You thought that you could go casually up to him and say hi. After all, you have gotten over him. But when you stood before him, all of the feelings you had for him resurfaced. Maybe they never went away and you just repressed it at the back of your mind. But now he is here and you do not understand what you are feeling. You stood there for a long time not knowing what to do until he finally pulls you towards him and hugs you. He doesn’t say anything and you know that you do not need words to understand what he is trying to tell you. You cried and cried and he never asked why. He just hugged you and held you until there were no more tears. Afterwards, you said your goodbyes and once again he walked away from you leaving you with his scent and the memory of his smile. When you go home, you sit down on your desk and start to write and the cycle begins again…