Do you know that I started writing again because of you?
Do you know that when we take a walk together at night, I would look up the heavens and thank God for you?
Do you know that I worry so much about you?
Do you know that I feel so safe and loved when you hold me?
Do you know that I love running my fingers down your hair?
Do you know that I do not understand why this had to happen to us?
Do you know that I keep the petals of all the flowers you have ever given me beside my bed?
Do you know that I bought your perfume and I'd spray it on my bedsheets so that I could pretend that you're beside me as I sleep?
Do you know that I miss hanging out with you even if we just do nothing?
Do you know how much I love you and how much I blame myself for what is happening to us?
Do you know that you are the only person who have hurt me this much and yet I do not hate you?
Do you know that I often listen to the tape we made for my project just to hear your voice?
Do you know that there are moments when I so badly want to hug you but you are not there?
Do you know that I miss it whenever you would just let me cry and hold me until there were no more tears?
Do you know that I wake up in the middle of the night because of the cold, now that you are not here to place a blanket over me when I fall asleep?
Do you know that nobody looks after me anymore when I am sick?
Do you know that I often dream that I am with you again and it is as if you were never gone?
Do you know how hurt I am that you do not seem to care anymore?
Do you know that I am missing you so much?
Do you know how much I am crying now?
And do you know that you are the only person who can stop me from crying?
Thursday, May 27, 2004
the song describes what I am feeling right now...I can sing it over and over again....
WHAT CAN I DO
I haven't slept at all in days
It's been so long since we've talked
and I have been here many times
I just don't know what I'm doin wrong
What can I do to make you love me?
what can I do to make you care?
What can I say to make you feel this?
What can I do to get you there?/and love me
There's only so much I can take
And I just got to let it go
And who knows it might feel better, yeah
If I don't try and I don't hope
no more waiting
no more aching
no more fighting
no more trying
maybe there's nothing more to say
and in a funny way I'm calm
because the power is not mine
and I'm just gonne let it fly
---
almost like what i'm feeling now...but i'm not yet giving up hoping, fighting and trying...still hoping for a miracle...maybe one day soon, by some miracle, i'd find him standing before me and smiling at me...Maybe everything is not true, maybe it's his practical joke for me...maybe, just maybe he'll be here again....and these maybes keep me going, keep me hoping....
WHAT CAN I DO
I haven't slept at all in days
It's been so long since we've talked
and I have been here many times
I just don't know what I'm doin wrong
What can I do to make you love me?
what can I do to make you care?
What can I say to make you feel this?
What can I do to get you there?/and love me
There's only so much I can take
And I just got to let it go
And who knows it might feel better, yeah
If I don't try and I don't hope
no more waiting
no more aching
no more fighting
no more trying
maybe there's nothing more to say
and in a funny way I'm calm
because the power is not mine
and I'm just gonne let it fly
---
almost like what i'm feeling now...but i'm not yet giving up hoping, fighting and trying...still hoping for a miracle...maybe one day soon, by some miracle, i'd find him standing before me and smiling at me...Maybe everything is not true, maybe it's his practical joke for me...maybe, just maybe he'll be here again....and these maybes keep me going, keep me hoping....
Sunday, May 23, 2004
The previous week in a glance…
May 17 and 18: Spent the two days in Zambales. It was the first time that I went overnight to a beach with my high school friends Portia and Tin. We swam in the pool, watched the sunset in the beach. We tried making sand castles, tried playing badminton even if it was windy and learned to play billiards. On the way home we passed by Subic and bought pasalubong for Milet who sadly cannot come with us.
May 19 – 21: my family and me went to Thailand. Bangkok looks very similar to the Philippines although their economy is much better. We had a fun time shopping. We also got the chance to see the city with all its temples and restaurants that served really spicy food. My father and brother visited Bangkok’s red district and they said that it was really very interesting.
May 22: it was ate jeng’s birthday and we went to clowns, a sing along bar, to drink and watch the gay people make fun of their audience. But there were one or two people who sang really well.
May 23: At last I was home in Bulacan again. We were supposed to go to tagaytay but it was raining really hard and the twins had colds so they decided to cancel the trip. We just had lunch together. I was really sleepy so I went to sleep immediately when I got home. Just woke up to hear mass.
May 17 and 18: Spent the two days in Zambales. It was the first time that I went overnight to a beach with my high school friends Portia and Tin. We swam in the pool, watched the sunset in the beach. We tried making sand castles, tried playing badminton even if it was windy and learned to play billiards. On the way home we passed by Subic and bought pasalubong for Milet who sadly cannot come with us.
May 19 – 21: my family and me went to Thailand. Bangkok looks very similar to the Philippines although their economy is much better. We had a fun time shopping. We also got the chance to see the city with all its temples and restaurants that served really spicy food. My father and brother visited Bangkok’s red district and they said that it was really very interesting.
May 22: it was ate jeng’s birthday and we went to clowns, a sing along bar, to drink and watch the gay people make fun of their audience. But there were one or two people who sang really well.
May 23: At last I was home in Bulacan again. We were supposed to go to tagaytay but it was raining really hard and the twins had colds so they decided to cancel the trip. We just had lunch together. I was really sleepy so I went to sleep immediately when I got home. Just woke up to hear mass.
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